i had a job interview this morning. a real job - outside the lab job. what struck me most was that the people were good looking. and they were dressed nicely - not suit and tie, but they matched. and i saw not one pair of sweatpants. its true that i have a job, unless calling it “job” requires i do actual work, which i haven’t done really since october 1, but accepting another offer (assuming they make one) isn’t necessarily a given. there are issues, i think, that are holding me up from following my heart. the first is not having my security clearance; it costs around $20k to get it, it’d basically be screwing over the lab if i leave ten months into processing. But, what’s more important, if i have it and leave i can ”easily” come right back if im terribly miserable (can i even imagine being more miserable?) or get laid off. everybody i talk to –dad, brother, boyfriend, boyfriend’s dad- thinks im crazy for even thinking about leaving a secure well-paying job before my clearance, but i hate it here. people here say things like “just wait until you get your clearance, everything will be much much better (more projects, move office out of isolation, general treatment raised above that of second class citizen), but how long is this damn clearance going to take? its almost been a year, how long am i supposed to “stick it out?” to me, another offer seems like a no-brainer. but I get these other people, whose opinions i cant seem to shake, telling me otherwise. and while I would like to think – screw ‘um, do what you want to, follow your heart - no one is saying that to me. and i have always been way to much of a need daddy’s approval kind of girl. i know im crossing this bridge to early, but i think the interview went pretty well. plus im 3 for 3 as far as interviews go. (or, 4 for ?)