the creepy man-child janitor is being relocated! he made the extra special effort to spit this out to me this morning. "um. um. im leaving" he told me it's been nice working for me. im definitely going to hell. he's not retarded or visibly "different" in any way. but there is definitely something wrong with him. maybe his mother smoked too much crack while she was pregnant with him. god damn. im going to hell.

speaking of creepy men at work...i haven’t heard from my stalker in awhile. actually....now that i think about it, he last came by before thanksgiving. he asked where i was going, "idaho falls" hmmmm, why are you going there "oh, my boyfriend's parents." i hadn’t ever mentioned dave to him, and i wasn’t planning to/planning to not, it just never came up. until then. and off he goes.

its been so long since ive been single, i forget what its like. the last time i actively played the market was….nearly seven years ago….scary. there were breaks in the beginning when i was still technically shopping around. or, technically, juggling. in that seven years there have been two serious ones, and two or three “experiments.” short lived experiments. the two serious are polar opposites of one another. the experiments…well, one was technically never resolved. (i’ve always got something on the back burner, isn’t that terrible?) another was most certainly resolved, by me. in letter form. one was an experiment in its purest sense. entirely secret. certainly failed. its been a good seven years. unfortunately, there was not much interlude between the two serious, and I sometimes regret not playing the field at that time. back then i thought (and i still think) id be risking too much, since i already knew what i wanted. in other words, i knew i who i wanted, and i believed we were on the right track to get there. if i threw in any curve balls it would screw everything up.