ive never been at the point of stress where I don’t want to talk about it. Usually I find humor in my stress, laugh at myself, and tell other people hoping not that they will sympathize, but to vent, I suppose. Right now I cannot bring myself to discuss my stress. For the first time in my life, I feel stress, real life grow-up stress and I don’t know if it’s going to be okay. Part of the reason I don’t want to talk about it is because it involves mistakes that I have made in the past. They were a long time ago, almost ten years, but they are haunting me today. they could create catastrophic problems – TODAY. I cant discuss these problems with anyone because, quite frankly, they are very strange. Not like, embarrassing-strange, but the whole of the problem is very unique. I would be very surprised to find anyone who could ever relate, and could say anything other than “fuck – that sucks. I don’t know what to tell you? Do you have anyone you could talk to?” well no. I don’t. I don’t want to talk to my parents because they don’t know about some of the original mistakes, I don’t want to talk to my fiancé because he is partly to blame, and I don’t want to write about it here because it is stress, real life stress, and it causes me more stress just to think about it. Ive never had this feeling before. I think most people are like this; they tend to keep their problems close by. I never was so inclined. Until now.