am i the only one who find the simpson's latest screamapillar the absolute best character in the history of time? i cant believe i would be the only one. i just saw him on the rerun on sunday (i guess it was a rerun) and i love him. screaming constantly for no good reason at all, well save his need for constant reassurance. brilliant.

tomorrow i rub with garlic and steal the crown

evil kitty practices attack:

step 1: secure launch onto wood floor by digging claws in rug
step 2: upon impact erratically flail both front and hind legs
step 3: extend and lock claws
step 4: slide into wall
step 5: meow
step 6: repeat steps 1-5 untill sunlight peaks through blinds

i always yell at dave for buying $50 fishing lines, but my new mason pearson has seven rings, and each ring has boar bristle and nylon. seven rings!

i found just the beneteau for me

ok, this is going a little too far. yes, i do realize this is another revolting post. do i seek secret pleasure in that? one might think so. but i dont! i really dont.

so, saturday night. get out of the shower...getting dressed...putting on this shoe, no not the right one....how about this one...ok, this one is good. walk around with one shoe while putting on the rest of the clothes. ok. good. now where is my other shoe? here it is, slide foot in, shoe is wet inside!?!? oh my god, my foot is completely surrounded by water, why, why why?

im just going to stop the story right there, and leave with the following observation: aparantly, there is a problem with the new cedar scented kitty litter.

stupid fucking cat

yes, i keep posting about being sick.

im sick

the new topper to the wet kleenex episode is me at the lab cafeteria for lunch, where i do actually know some people, coughing/gagging up into the bushes out front whatever solid mass had migrated its way down the back of my throat . a nice gentleman came around to ask me if i was ok. he looks at me wide-eyed "did you choke on some ice?" "yes" i respond with barely any hesitation. "dont you just hate that?" "oh, yes"

ok so the most disgusting thing of all of history has happened to me. i really havent even admitted this to anyone because i am so grossed out by it that i cannot bear to speak it. so i was riding on the airplane on sunday. flying along. my book is in the front pocket because i dont much feel like reading. flying along. plane lands. take my book out, and it is wet. wet book. not the whole thing, but just the top and the bookmark. why is my book wet!?! i look in the pocket and sure enough a kleenex. now...i havent put a kleenex in there. but there is one in there, and it is wet and it made my book wet. i really did not know what to do at this point. i mean...what are my options? i could throw the book out? but my god, whouldnt that be totally overreacting? i could put the book in an hermetically sealed bag. this is what i wanted to do, but i dont normally carry those. i could just pretend like nothing happend, put the book in my bag, pull out my little bottle of hand sanitizer and get the hell off that plane. so that is what i did.

so now, two days later, i sit here typing this, and i kid you not, i have come down with the biggest nasal head cold you would not believe. it makes me cringe to think of that book, but it's really a good book. i really wanted to read it.