It’s been a long week. Long two weeks. I have a cold now, my first cold since mlk weekend when I quit smoking. When I say quit smoking, I mean “technically speaking” since over last weekend while hanging out in ny with my college girls we snuck outside the bar a couple of times to have a cigarette. And mihow, I totally sympathize. No one but the girls know about that. Go figure, now I’m sick. Shouldn’t we know that by smoking the cigarettes once we get sick immediately proves they are bad for us and we should really actually stop doing it? Yeah. Heh. You would think. Sorry for all the italics.

In other news I really enjoy Halloween. see last year. (I think the picture may be gone). This year we carved up some pumpkins. I was going for scary, and it actually looks pretty scary. Dave’s is hilarious, but he says he wasn’t going for that. And I love pumpkin seeds. I’m looking forward to trick-or-treaters, I’ve never had those before. This new suburban life better not let me down. The next-door neighbor came by yesterday to ask us to feed their dog over the weekend. I was thrilled, I think more by all the implications of it. She chose us, the new people, to do this for them. She trusts us with their key. We can now ask her to feed our dog. Its all great really, especially since we get bad vibes from the people on the other side. Now all I have to do is figure out their names by looking at their mail while in their house. Isn’t that terrible? I am totally one of those people – names go out as fast as they come in. When I meet new people I sometimes think “remember remember get the name repeat the name.” I should probably stop; I think it distracts me from the name.

I just found out that my brother, sister-in-law, and niece wont be attending my wedding. And I kinda lashed out at them when I they told me. If it were something they had no control over, of course I would never blame them for not being able to attend. But it is something they did have control over. They were trying to get pregnant, and they baby’s due date is one day before my wedding date. They said they didn’t think it would happen so soon (not sure why since baby number one seemed to go off without a hitch), but it did. And I kinda blew-up at them. I called them selfish. They are selfish, lately -- without a doubt. Is that a bad thing, or can I really blame them? Well I don’t know. but I lashed out at them and called them selfish (I did it in a really nice way). And now they wont speak to me. I could call them and grovel and beg and plead. But I don’t want to. They hurt me, and now they refuse to speak to me, and im supposed to apologize. And I HATE THAT. Why cant they just say to me: “im sorry for never returning your phone calls and for not giving two shits about your getting engaged, buying a house, remodeling the entire thing, and planning a wedding where my attendance is very important to you and I let you down and im sorry.” but they are not going to do that, and now it is up to me.

idaho? no, you the ho.

the best part about driving from san francisco to idaho and back in three day was the right to say that abaove phrase the entire time. the whole time! im probably the best travel companion ever.